actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

(via beastoftheyeast)

22 hours ago · 67,922 notes · Source

  • Gf: babe come over
  • Me: I'm eating garlic bread
  • Gf: I'm horny and my parents aren't home
  • Me: it's the kind that's covered in cheese

22 hours ago · 29,619 notes · Source

tyrongtyger:

awwww-cute:

Lost a $10 bill last night and couldn’t find I for the life of me. Until little Ava came out of hiding, that is

Khajiit has quick fingers.

tyrongtyger:

awwww-cute:

Lost a $10 bill last night and couldn’t find I for the life of me. Until little Ava came out of hiding, that is

Khajiit has quick fingers.

(via beastoftheyeast)

22 hours ago · 210,872 notes · Source

(via beastoftheyeast)

22 hours ago · 8,395 notes · Source

blumbitch:

When you’re with two other friends and they’re talking to each other and you’re just there like

image

(via asvprock)

22 hours ago · 301,456 notes · Source

serving size: 4

yeah

all 4 me

(via ruinedchildhood)

22 hours ago · 390,860 notes · Source

(via dutchster)

22 hours ago · 164,162 notes

ellendegeneres:

#MandelaDay

ellendegeneres:

#MandelaDay

(via destressyourbreast)

22 hours ago · 6,119 notes · Source

#i would’ve removed your shitty comment if I weren’t on mobile

(via niggavevo)

23 hours ago · 72,181 notes · Source

(via destressyourbreast)

23 hours ago · 48,982 notes · Source

nowyoukno:

Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

nowyoukno:

Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

(via destressyourbreast)

23 hours ago · 9,002 notes · Source

(via hi)

23 hours ago · 82,119 notes · Source

(via hi)

23 hours ago · 118,810 notes · Source

(via hi)

23 hours ago · 118,810 notes · Source

weloveshortvideos:

How The Fuck Did He Just Do This ?

Vine by DizzyZ

23 hours ago · 1,426 notes · Source

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